Authenticity is really just being who you feel you genuinely are deep down by following and aligning with your values, despite what others may want you to do. Anyone can choose to live authentically; it isn't reserved for certain people. But in order to become truly authentic at the soul level, you need to remove anything that's blocking you from accepting who you are. These are the 10 questions I asked myself in order to remove these blocks - feel free to write down the questions and answer them on your own!
1 What do you value?
Some things I value are honesty, silence, integrity, empathy, determination, humor, and a child-like curiosity for life. One way I recognized my values was by thinking of the things that made me happy, and any injustice I saw that made me unhappy. Those things made me realize how much I value kindness, compassion, and empathy.
2 What are your interests?
This includes cooking, cleaning, movies, tv shows, books, or any type of media you might consume. I really love anything that has to do with horror or hauntings. The scarier the better. I really love the thrill and the adrenaline! The interests you have will lead into the next question...
3 What are your hobbies?
These will relate to your interests: I love reading horror books and learning about fairy tales, myths, folklore, and all those cryptic, horror-adjacent things, which relates to my interests. Try to think of things that you love and keep coming back to, no matter how many times people try to make fun of them. Those interests and hobbies represent who you truly are, so don't be afraid to accept them.
4 What were your favorite hobbies as a kid?
Like I mentioned above, try to think of the hobbies that you love in secret, that others have tried to deem "crazy" or "stupid". Sometimes the things we used to love as kids and the things we love now overlap to express who we are at our core. Thinking back to our early childhoods can teach us more about who we are now and help us to understand when and why we may have developed certain insecurities.
5 When do you feel most fulfilled and happy? How long ago was it?
If you're a hair stylist, for example, you could feel fulfilled while you're painting the color onto someone's hair, and you could have felt fulfilled yesterday while at the salon with a client. You could even feel fulfilled while you're cleaning the dishes and the kitchen at the end of the day because you have quiet time to yourself, which could lead you to realize how much you value peaceful time alone. For me, I last felt fulfilled while writing out this Blog post! When you feel fulfilled, you'll feel accomplished, satisfied, peaceful, and energized because you're doing something you care about.
6 When do you feel most upset and angry? How long ago was it?
You could feel upset when you're talked over, overlooked, made fun of, or see any type of injustice happening. I was upset the other day after I was asked how I was doing then was immediately talked over while I was answering. That made me realize how much I value patience and respect - see how all of these questions can lead you deeper into each other?
7 What are your insecurities?
This one can be difficult and uncomfortable to get through, but it's necessary to work through those insecurities to figure out if they were even yours to carry in the first place. You can also trace an insecurity back to when you were younger to find its origin. That's why I think it's so important to reflect on our childhoods because we were taught to be insecure by other people. We were told that certain parts of us were ugly or unacceptable. Before that, we went around with all the confidence in the world, and that's how we should be.
8 When have you acted out of ego or out of hurt that hurt someone else?
Recognizing and rectifying the times when we have hurt others, both unintentionally and intentionally, allows us to accept ourselves, forgive ourselves, and love ourselves for all our mistakes and faults. We're not perfect and sometimes we do act out of emotions, but forgiving ourselves gets us one step closer to building a personality and sense of self that we accept wholeheartedly.
9 When have you let others be the main character of your story?
Think back to times when you made another person more important than yourself in your own life, like while you were dating or in a situation where you wanted everyone to be happy, even at your expense. We should each be #1 in our lives, and, if not, then our life is lived for someone else. It's understandable to feel the need to put yourself aside for your children or when living in memory of another person, but just make sure you are pulling the strings in your life. That those decisions are made by you.
10 What do you love about yourself?
Make this list long! This can include anything internal or external. You could love your laugh, your teeth, your determination, your affection towards animals, even your courage to come face to face with your shadow side: not everyone acknowledges the parts of themselves that have done harm. You should be grateful for the life you've lived on a path of growth.
These 10 questions are things I've asked myself throughout my authenticity journey, which have led to deeper topics for me to work through. Again, each of the questions may relate or bring you back to one another - let whatever needs to come out, come out! As soon as you own every facet and version of yourself, that's when you've created a sense of self that no one can break down. You'll have a strong foundation that aligns with your soul to then strive for your desires and build a life that feels perfectly you. You won't feel the need to ask for permission to be yourself, or ask what decisions you need to make, because you're confident in your own choices. The blocks will be removed for you to follow your soul's calling, and the center of your life becomes you. And no one can take that away.
- JS
Watch the accompanying YouTube video here: https://youtu.be/gnYk_f-i9aE